No, You May Not Be Excused (Shut Up & Workout Already)

I’m writing this during the holiday season, AKA the season of giving, but I gotta be honest: This is not for you; it’s for me. I can’t stop eating Christmas cookies, starches, candy, or mac n cheese. I also can’t bring myself to workout. I’ve made a few excuses so far, namely that I’m tired, I haven’t had time, a few cookies won’t hurt me, mac n cheese is worth it, etc. But none of those are really good enough excuses for eating a dozen cookies or a box of Velveeta and then not moving my body. So, since I need to give myself a good swift kick in the you-know-what, here are some very common excuses as to why one cannot (or did not) eat healthy and workout, along with some tough love.

 

I don’t have time

It’s cute that you think you don’t have time for a 30 minute workout. What you actually lack is time management skills, not time. Stop spending too much time on other tasks (like social media, Netflix, hair, makeup, shopping, etc.) and you’ll suddenly have much more than 30 minutes to workout or cook a healthy meal.

 

It’s too expensive

Lululemon pants are too expensive. Equinox is too expensive. Working out and eating healthy are not too expensive. First of all, investments in exercise and healthy food are investments in your health. You only get one life and one body to live it in, so how a workout or vegetable could be too expensive for you is kinda beyond me. Think about everything you’ve ever spent more than $50 on. Did it help you live longer? Was it a good long-term investment? My guess is no. I spend $50 a week on healthy groceries, and $99 a year for over 500 instructional workout videos. It’s not too expensive.

 

I don’t know what to do

Buy a Groupon and take a class. Download a guide, like Kayla Itsines. Ask a friend. Go for a run. Or see above about $99 a year for over 500 workout videos. Figure it out!

 

My family isn’t on board

My family does not exercise, and I’m the only vegetarian/soon to be the only vegan in the family, yet I still manage to workout every day (ok most days) and make my own decisions about what I eat. My parents eat meat and potatoes (or pasta) for almost every meal. They don’t totally get why I gave up meat, but they buy me veggie patties when I visit so that’s all that matters. I believe this follows “if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” logic. Just because your family doesn’t eat healthy or workout doesn’t mean you can’t. Set an example.

 

I’m too tired

I go to bed between 9:30pm and 10:00pm every day, even on the weekends. Spoiler alert: I’m not 70 years old — I’m 25. I just love to sleep. I wake up at 6am Monday-Friday to workout, and between 7:30am-8:30am on the weekends, which is why I go to bed early. If you’re still awake past 11pm and you’re doing dumb shit, like double tapping stranger’s photos or online shopping for things you don’t need, and then you complain you’re too tired to workout, you can understand why people don’t take you seriously right? Here, listen to Samuel L. Jackson and go the F to sleep.

GOOD NEWS! After skipping two days of workouts and eating 6-12 Christmas cookies each day, I managed to get my workout in today and have only had one cookie. Like I said, this wasn’t for you; it was for me. And remember: Summer bodies are made in the winter.
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